Does my child need a tutor? Seven signs, and three that point somewhere else

A tutor is worth trying when your child is putting in the effort and it is not turning into understanding, in one subject, for more than a few weeks. If the trouble is everywhere at once, appeared suddenly, or looks like something other than schoolwork, start with the teacher or your child’s doctor instead.

This guide is for parents who have a feeling something is off and are not sure what kind of help fits. It is general information and not an assessment of your child.

Seven signs a tutor is likely to help

1. Homework time has grown, and the work has not. The same worksheet that took twenty minutes in September takes ninety in November.
2. Grades fell when a particular unit started. Fractions, long division, algebra and essay writing are common places for this to happen, because each depends on the step before it.
3. Your child can follow an example and cannot start alone. They nod along when you explain, then freeze on the next problem. That usually means a missing step, not a lack of effort.
4. They have stopped asking questions in class. Children go quiet when they are too far behind to know what to ask.
5. They have decided what kind of person they are. “I’m bad at math” or “I’m not a reader” is a conclusion a child reaches after enough bad days. It is easier to change early.
6. You have become the tutor, and it is going badly. Evenings end in an argument. The same explanation from another adult often lands without the fight.
7. Class is too slow. A bored child who finishes early and has nothing harder to do needs one-to-one time as much as a struggling one.

Three signs that point somewhere else

A tutor teaches a subject. Some difficulties look like a subject problem and are not.

The trouble is in every subject, and has been for a long time

If reading, writing or attention has been hard since the early grades, ask the school about an evaluation. Schools have a process for this, and the result can open up support that a tutor cannot provide. A tutor can still help alongside it.

Something changed quickly

A child who was doing well and stopped within a few weeks may be dealing with something outside the classroom: sleep, friendships, a move, a worry they have not told you about. Talk to your child and the teacher before you add another hour of schoolwork to the week.

They cannot see or hear the lesson

Squinting, headaches, sitting close to the screen or often asking people to repeat themselves are reasons to see your child’s doctor. It is a simple thing to rule out first.

Two conversations to have before you book

With the teacher

Ask three things: which specific skill is missing, what the class will cover in the next month, and what the teacher would want a tutor to work on. Write down the answers. They become the brief for the first lesson.

With your child

Ask what the hardest part of the subject is, and listen to the answer without correcting it. Then say what you are suggesting: one lesson, on that one thing, with a teacher whose only student for that time is them. Children accept “one lesson to sort out fractions” far more easily than “you’re getting a tutor”.

How to tell whether it is working

Set one goal that you could check without a report card, such as “can add fractions with different denominators” or “can write a paragraph with a clear first sentence”. After four to six lessons, ask your child to show you. If they can, pick the next goal or stop. If they cannot, talk to the tutor about changing the approach, or try a different tutor.

The aim of tutoring is for your child to need it less. A good tutor will tell you when that point has come.

Common questions

This guide is general information for parents. It is not an assessment of your child and does not replace advice from your child’s teacher or doctor.